


Femme Fatale

by KUG



Category: Wild Kratts
Genre: I'm bad at tagging things, OC, Undercover AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 08:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14281392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KUG/pseuds/KUG
Summary: Christina Koi, Chris Kratt's in-depth villainess persona, attends a villain convention and meets a handsome but far too pushy villain. Chris hates him, Christina feels nothing but indifference, and Silas Lockwood is a bit head over heels for the femme fatale.





	Femme Fatale

A cool breeze slipped into Tortuga through the open panels on the upper deck, and Chris shivered and stepped away from edge and towards the stairs. He was sure Aviva and Koki would be hunting him down at any minute, but he’d just wanted a moment to catch his breath and compose himself before they nabbed him. As he went down the stairs he hit the switch on the wall that closed the panels, and the stairwell went dark except for the light that spilled in from the central room at the bottom.

As soon as his booted foot crossed the threshold of the doorway, Koki appeared out of nowhere and wrapped her hands around his wrist in a vice-like grip.

“Chris where have you been?” she fussed, “You gotta’ get ready _now_ if you want to be on time!”

“I was just taking a breather,” he sighed, “I don’t totally enjoy this.”

“Well, you’re the one who came up with the idea,” said Aviva, walking into the room from the other side. In her arms was a bundle of fabrics, which she dumped in Chris’s arms as soon as Koki let him go. Then the two women pushed him towards the bathroom. “Hurry up and change!”

“Okay, okay!” he complained, locking the door as it shut behind him. Heaving a sigh, he dumped the clothes onto the small counter and quickly sifted through the mess as he kicked off his shoes. He paused. “Aviva!” he called, “What the heck are these for?”

“I’m assuming you’re talking about the biker shorts,” she yelled back, voice muffled through the door. “Well, this dress is a little more form fitting than the last one.”

“Why?” Chris whined, but stripping out of his familiar, _comfortable_ khaki shorts nonetheless. Aviva didn’t bother to reply and he contented himself with grumbling under his breath as he got dressed.

A minute later he stepped out of the bathroom, scowling. “What are _these_ , Aviva?”

She cast him a brief glance. “Chris, I’m sure you’ve seen pantyhose before.”

“I’ve never _worn_ them before,” he shot back.

Aviva finally turned around and planted on hand on her hip. “Chris. You’re wearing a slit skirt. You have hairy legs. There’s not enough time to wax them and I’m sure you’d put up a huge fuss if we tried anyway. Those are tightly woven enough that none of that grizzly bear fur will poke through and they match your skintone, so just suck it up and put them on.” He opened his mouth to protest one last time and she held up her hand to stop him. “Would you like us to pin you down and forcefully put them on?”

With another scowl, he plopped down in a chair and hiked his leg up to rest on the center console. “No,” he muttered in response, bunching the pantyhose up in order to put it on more easily.

“Good. Koki, did you find the curling iron?”

“Got it right here!” the communications expert replied, hurrying over from the door.

Chris finished putting on the hose and crossed his arms, ready to endure the hair tugging and face painting that was to come. Some of it he didn’t mind as much, especially with the hair, but he didn’t like the fake eyelashes at all.

Ten minutes later Jimmy came strolling into the room. “Looking gorgeous there, Chris,” he said teasingly, clicking his tongue and winking. “Cristina Koi will have all the boys swooning tonight.”

If there wasn’t a mascara brush hovering right above his eyeball, Chris would have given Jimmy an unamused look, but he had to settle for an explosive snort. “Christina Koi will smack some sense into them if they swoon too close.”

“Chris I almost stabbed your eye, hold still!” Koki exclaimed. Obediently, he shut up.

In another twenty minutes, the magic transformation was complete, save one last item. As Chris stood in the middle of the room and warmed up his voice, the crew scrambled around the Tortuga, tearing everything apart in their search for the all-important shoes. The sound of Aviva and Koki yelling back and forth and Chris going up and down the scales in falsetto made a delightful sort of cacophony in the main room.

Martin walked into the room right as a pair of pearly white high heels sailed past, and in the same heartbeat Chris hiked up his skirt and ran from another pair of charcoal gray pumps.

“Martin, protect me bro!” he yelled, voice cracking out of falsetto as he went pitter-pattering behind his brother in stocking feet.

Turning, Martin couldn’t help the grin that came to his face. “Well hi there, I don’t know who you’re calling _bro_ , madam.”

Chris narrowed his eyes and gave his brother a hefty punch on the arm. Martin yelped and jumped, right out of the way of a red shoe that ricocheted off the wall.

“Hey, I’m being funny,” Martin protested, laughing. “Aviva and Koki do good work.”

“They really do,” Chris admitted.

The Christina Koi transformation was perfect. With a carefully contoured face, darker, thicker eye lashes, and lightly plucked eyebrows, Chris was hardly recognizable. Further obscuring his face from recognition, a flop of wavy bangs nearly obscured his left eye, and soft ringlet curls framed his ears. Long white gloves covered his calloused hands, and the dress he was wearing had been carefully tailored to emphasize his waist and minimize his shoulders.

“The dress makes your butt look good,” Martin teased him again.

Chris fluttered his eyelashes dramatically. “I like to think my butt _always_ looks good, but thanks.”

“Finally!” a triumphant shout emanated from a closet near the main screen, and a second later Koki emerged with a pair of dark heels. Aviva followed her with a long faux feather boa.

With a sigh Chris went to meet them and sat down to put on the heels. “I hate these stupid things,” he grumbled. He took the boa from Aviva and draped it around his shoulders and arms, then slowly got to his feet, holding out his hands slightly to balance himself. The entire crew stood still as Chris closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

Then he tossed his curls, smiled, and opened his eyes and was Christina Koi.

“My, look at the time,” she breathed, “Someone fetch Sam and Cam for me.” Turning, she caught sight of Martin by the door and raised an eyebrow at him. “Mr. Kratt, you really should get in disguise. The convention will begin shortly.”

Martin, who’d been staring at the sudden change of character, jumped a little. “Right.” He nodded to the rest of the crew and disappeared through the same door he’d entered.

Aviva chuckled to herself while she pulled out her Creature Pod to activate the robotic bodyguards. “Okay, _Christina_ , they’ll be waiting outside by the limo. Koki, did you sync up the earrings with our main system?”

“Right now,” Koki answered, tapping away at her console.

“Thank you, my dears,” Christina said, and then she turned and glided out of the main room, heading down to the black limousine.

The ride was short, and after ten minutes the limo pulled up in front of a tall, glossy building full of sharp angles and modern architecture. The large V in the center of the fountain made it clear whose building this was. Varmitech.

Stepping out of the car, Christina found valets and spotless Zachbots hovering around, ready to attend to the well-to-do guests that had been and would continue to arrive at the venue throughout the day. A Zachbot took the assortment of bags and trunks that Christina had brought and began to take them to her dressing room. As a performer, she’d been given special privilege and all the staff would be aware of her. She tried not to think that it could also be because Zach Varmitech had a bit of a thing for her.

Christina Koi strode through the convention floor, gaze scanning the crowds of villains as she went. None of them interested her. Sam and Cam flanked her on either side and prevented any from getting too close. Some cameras flashed nearby and Christina delicately lifted one gloved hand to shield her face.

Suddenly a man stepped close by on the other side of Cam.

“Hello,” said a smooth, polite voice.

Christina flicked her gaze over to see none other than Silas Lockwood of Lockwood World Lumber walking alongside her bodyguard, smiling pleasantly. “I’m sorry,” she said coolly, “but I don’t have time to talk at the moment.”

If Silas was disappointed, he didn’t show it, but only showed his teeth in a wider grin and dipped his torso into a slight bow. “Of course,” he replied, “But perhaps I’ll see you later on during the convention?”

“Perhaps,” Christina said, already moving on.

With Sam and Cam parting the crowds, she was soon ushered into the back of the stage room. Some villain sidekicks were preparing the area, but they nervously backed away immediately as Koi swept into the room.

“Relax,” she said, “I’m just here to inspect my stage for tonight’s performance.”

One of them approached her carefully, “Miss Koi, we’ve prepared it as you requested. If you would like to see it, please follow me.” She inclined her head graciously and followed the sidekick. When they reached the stage, he gestured for her to look. “All as you’ve requested,” he said.

In front of them was a vast glass tank, full of turquoise tinted water. Lights lined the bottom and sides, and the water itself seemed to shimmer. The top was covered over with thick glass to be the floor of the stage, and Christian could see that panels on the front of the stage would slide back and reveal the tank to the eventual audience. Sitting down, no one would be able to see it otherwise.

“Lovely,” Christina breathed.

“And the fish are just waiting to be released,” added the stage hand.

For a brief moment, Christina froze, then smiled and nodded. “Wonderful. See that they’re well cared for until then.” In the back of his mind, Chris reminded himself that the fish were fakes, actually being cleverly designed robots built by Aviva. No one would be able to tell that they weren’t actually endangered butterfly fish.

The sidekick seemed relieved that Madam Koi approved of the preparations so far, and hurried to show the other parts in the performance, the lights and shimmering curtains and well-dressed live musicians who would accompany the singing. Christina had already pushed the thoughts of that to the back of her mind. All eyes would be on her this evening, and if the rest of the crew messed up, it wasn’t her fault so she didn’t particularly care.

Graciously thanking the sidekick, she departed for her dressing room.

Sam went in first to make sure it was empty, and then the villainess entered, sighing and sinking into a couch to rest her feet for a moment. She’d have to go back out into the convention and see panels and booths and mingle with other villains soon and the long evening was only just beginning. Pushing her hair out of her eyes for one moment, she spotted a spray of color arranged on her dressing room table.

“Cam, fetch that for me,” she said.

The robotic bodyguard obeyed, and in a moment was bending to show Christina an armful of bouquets. She stretched out a hand and picked up a card. Upon seeing the bold red V on one of them, she flicked it away before she bothered to read it. The second one was a typed message from Donita Donata, wishing her luck for the evening. That one was also casually tossed to the side.

The third had a gilded initial L on the back, and for a moment Christina couldn’t think who it was. She flipped the card over and saw a handwritten note. It read: _Madam Koi, I wish you luck on your performance tonight. I’m looking forward to it. I hope I may talk with you afterwards, as I have a proposal for you. Sincerely, Silas Lockwood._

Christina flicked the card away like the others, then stood, gathered the flowers from Cam’s arms, and marched them over to the trash can in the corner.

“Proposal,” scoffed Chris, pulling his hair out of his eyes, “I bet he does.”

 

The panels and booths were a whirl of information and famous villain names, and Christina could hardly recall how many people she’d met and politely spoken with. Viewing from the eyes of Cam and Sam, Koki, Aviva, and Jimmy were compiling information and figuring out how to counteract schemes; it was Christina’s job to nod, smile, and flatter. The crew helped with that too, feeding back the information they had to Christina when she needed it.

“Ms. Syndrome, it was very pleasant to meet you, but I must head off.” Christina found herself disengaging from one more conversation, smiling graciously and nodding in farewell as Sam and Cam closed back in on either side of her to ward off unwelcome approaches.

“Madam Koi!”

Christina restrained an urge to roll her eyes, and turned around with a falsely delighted smile turning her mouth up at the corners. “Mr. Lockwood,” she greeted him simply.

The dashing villain approached and held out his hand. If he thought Christina would shake it, he was sorely mistaken; a lady who wants to shake on greeting will put her own hand forward first. Instead, she delicately draped her hand into his. Silas smiled and bent to brush a polite kiss on the back of it.

Chris fought down a gag reflex.

“I hope you enjoyed my little token of appreciation,” Silas said, straightening.

“The flowers? Yes, they were lovely, but not quite to my taste. Still, thank you for the thought.”

With a mock frown, Silas put a hand to his heart. “My apologies. I hope they didn’t offend you.”

“Oh no,” Christina said airily, waving the idea away and turning at the same time. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m due in my dressing room to prepare for the performance later.”

Silas almost looked as if he were going to hold her hand and stop her from going, but he let go after a moment and flashed a smile full of teeth. “I’m looking forward to it!” he called after her as she stepped away.

Christina put him out of her mind almost immediately, hurrying to her dressing room.

 

The performance went spectacularly well, Christina holding the audience and even staff completely captivated. At the end there was thunderous applause and deep down Chris preened under the attention; Christina Koi blatantly accepted the flattery and cheering, blowing a kiss to the crowd before she stepped off stage. By now her feet were killing her from spending so long standing in heels and she hurried towards the stage exit, eager to get to her dressing room. Sam and Cam were waiting in the room, so she hoped no one would bother her on her way back.

Almost as soon as she though that, a tall, slim shape appeared in the hallway just ahead.

“A beautiful lady like you shouldn’t have to spend the evening alone,” Lockwood purred, smoothly stepping to block Christina’s path.

She stopped, unable to hide the twitch of irritation in her lips. “Sorry,” she murmured, “I’m tired, and I’m going back to my dressing room.”

“Why, Madam Koi, of course! But why don’t we relax in my own private suite? The aroma of pine and cedar, sandalwood and cinnamon will surely help you to relax after such a long performance.” Flashing a charming smile, he reached and gently rested a hand on Christina’s hip, his fingers reaching enough to brush past the edge of the plunging dress back.

As if the touch were electric, it jolted Chris back to himself. _Crap, this is not good. Lockwood doesn’t take no for an answer!_ He smiled nervously, tilting his head so that his curls covered his face more. _Think, think Chris! Ah!_ Now that his Christina persona had fallen back a bit, he could think with more focus. And that let him think enough to get a wild idea….

“Well,” he said finally, still forcing his voice into a husky falsetto, “that actually does sound… rather nice.”

Silas beamed again, his pearly white teeth bared in a way that seemed more menacing than friendly to Chris. “Wonderful! I knew you’d come around! Come then, my dear Ms. Koi.”

He turned Chris and used the opportunity to fully place his hand on “Ms. Koi’s” back. Chris gritted his teeth but forced his lips into a smile. “Mr. Lockwood, that’s a little… _forward_ …don’t you think?” he murmured as he reached up to twist one pearl earring.

“Oh not at all!” Silas said, gesturing grandly, “I’m just escorting you with the utmost care!”

“How kind.” _Get your nasty hands off me!_

In no time Chris was whisked to an upstairs suite, decorated with expensive, carved wooden furniture and forest themed plush decorations. If he were being honest with himself, it was actually very well decorated. Then he saw a stuffed leopard posed on a polished acacia tree and he viciously retracted his previous thought.

Silas was talking as he moved around the room, bringing a bottle of champagne and two elegant glasses, and Chris had to shake off his anger to focus on what was being said.

“…I must admit Ms. Koi, your appearance in the field of villainy was quite surprising. What made you decide to turn from regular performance to one with such a _wicked_ twist?” He held forward on of the glasses, half-full of golden champagne.

Chris took the glass and fluttered his eyelashes slightly. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said breathily, “I just _love_ animals, the rarer the better, and to have them as a part of my performance is such a thrill.” He swirled the champagne, but didn’t dare take a sip; he hadn’t been watching when Lockwood poured this one.

“Hmm, yes, that is true! Those flashes of color! They are quite wonderful.”

Chris didn’t say anything, but smiled sweetly.

“Though I must admit,” Silas continued, “sometimes just the animals alone aren’t enough, I think. There’s a lack of… _atmosphere_ sometimes, don’t you think?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Chris murmured, raising an elegant eyebrow.

“Oh! Nothing against you of course!” Silas corrected smoothly, “But there could be more to the background. You could benefit from a partnership with me, don’t you think?” He stepped closer to Chris, leaning over him as much as their height difference could allow.

“Maybe,” Chris said. He knew that his body language was all wrong right now, too defensive.

“There are many things that a partnership with me could yield.” He was too close.

_“Chris! We’re on our way; just hang on for a minute!”_ Aviva’s voice crackled in his ear, softly enough that only he could hear it. He wanted to respond that he didn’t think he _had_ a minute. Lockwood was being far too pushy, maybe because he thought he could intimidate or seduce Christina Koi into agreeing to a business partnership.

“You think so?” he replied. He had to do something, quick.

Silas smiled, “I know so,” and moved even closer, putting his fingers under Chris’s chin to tilt his head up.

_Holy crap he’s going to try to kiss me._ Chris panicked, and in a second he’d darted his hands forward, grabbed Lockwood by the waistcoat, and shoved him hard, straight into a plush armchair.

Silas Lockwood rarely looked anything but smug, but for a moment he looked shocked as he tumbled into the chair, landing in a sprawled sitting position. For a heartbeat he and Christina Koi just stared at one another in surprise.

_C’mon, quick! Press the advantage!_ Chris was never really one for spontaneous, off-the-cuff plans—that was Martin’s domain—but the second that he’d shoved the villain, an idea had sprung into his mind, and he jumped into action.

With a soft chuckle, he stepped closer to the chair. Silas’s expression, which had been switching from shock to irritation, morphed into a smug, nonchalant one. “That was a bit bold Ms. Koi.”

Chris _hmm_ ’d and stepped closer, looking at the reclining villain from under his lashes. _I really hope that Aviva doesn’t read into this when she hears it,_ he thought, then elegantly hiked up a leg to rest one heeled foot on the arm of the chair.

“ _Very_ bold,” Silas amended with a growing smirk.

Tossing his curls coyly, Chris brushed the edge of the split skirt so that it fell and bared his thigh. Inwardly he was begging for Martin to never hear of this because his brother would never tire of teasing him for trying to seduce a villain; normally this was something a little more in the realm of his in-depth Christina Koi persona, but right now he was one hundred percent Chris, in a dress and lipstick.

Naturally, Silas’s eyes were now running over the exposed lines of Chris’s legs and his smirk was turning into an unpleasant sort of leer. Chris wanted to curl his lip but instead he channeled what he hoped was a sultry look and hooked a finger under the hem of the dress, drawing up the edge of the slit skirt even further.

Suddenly the expression in Silas’s face twisted into confusion, and Chris quickly hiked his skirt up to reach the thigh holster that had been concealed under his dress.

Silas was frozen, eyes focused on the barrel of a gun aimed squarely at his chest.

“Don’t worry, darling,” Chris said, “it’s just a stun dart. In all honesty, I forgot about it for a few minutes there, or I would have done this a while ago.”

“Why you—”

“I’ll stop you right there, hon. I agreed to come up here and relax with forest scents, not get coerced into a shady deal or maybe even drugged.” He shrugged one shoulder towards the champagne glass where it had fallen to the floor when he’d shoved Lockwood.

“But I promise, a business partnership between us would be ideal,” Silas said coolly.

“I’m sure. But I don’t like teamwork, Mr. Lockwood.”

Seething, Silas glared up at the dark-eyed villainess. “There might be consequences later.”

Christina Koi arched an elegant eyebrow at him and leaned down enough to tap him in the chest with one gloved finger. “You’re not the only man to have ever fallen for me, darling,” she crooned, letting the weight of her words sink in for a moment before she stepped back.

Brushing her skirt down and tossing her curls, tidying the muss, she fixed Silas with one last piercing look as she glided to the door. Finally she turned away as she opened it and walked out, hips swaying with as much cool confidence as when Lockwood had first met the femme fatale. He caught a glimpse of her bodyguards arriving as the door shut behind her.

Silas stayed seated, staring at the door for a long time after she’d left. He’d vastly underestimated her, which was a mistake to say the least, but she was fascinating. Baring his teeth in a slow grin, Lockwood reached for a fresh champagne glass and the bottle. Christina Koi was _very_ fascinating, and Silas Lockwood was going to learn about her; because he was rich and famous and powerful, and he always got his way.

“Watch yourself, lovely little Christina,” he mused aloud, “You’ve piqued my interest.”

 

“Aviva, stop laughing.”

She did no such thing, and only sat down hard on the center console of the Tortuga, laughing louder than ever and clutching her sides. Koki was stifling some chuckles of her own and even Jimmy was hiding a grin in his sleeve.

Chris glared at Aviva and peeled off another strip of fake eyelashes. “It wasn’t funny,” he grumbled, “I thought he drugged that champagne for sure.”

“Oh I know, I know,” she breathed at last, “but pretending to _seduce_ him? That’s just too much!”

“I would rather have stabbed him with my high heels and you know it!” Chris whined, then buried his face in a makeup wipe and scrubbed vigorously. He was sitting in a hover chair, feet soaking in a hot bath while he undid his Christina Koi transformation. The dress was pooled around his waist, but the very first thing he’d done—right after taking off the awful high heels and the super tight bikers shorts—was to put his khaki shorts on.

Aviva’s chuckles slowed and she took a deep breath. “Just wait until Martin hears about this one!” she said, then howled with laughter all over again.

Chris came up for air and glared at her; the full force of his displeasure was almost completely undone by the fact that there was mascara smeared around his eyes like a raccoon mask, and maroon lipstick was smudged all over his chin. “Don’t you dare!” he commanded. “I’ll never hear the end of it!”

“Well, Chris,” Koki interjected before he could get any more ruffled, “if it’s any consolation to you, just think: Silas Lockwood was almost seduced by _you_ , Chris Kratt, in disguise. If he ever finds out he’ll explode from rage and embarrassment.”

Pausing, Chris wiped lipstick off of his chin. Then his frown turned into a vicious grin of satisfaction. “Now _that’s_ amusing to think about.” His grin faded, “But still, if _any_ villain gets wind of it, they won’t just laugh at Lockwood, they’ll be laughing at me too.”

“Hold that thought,” Jimmy said, bringing another package of makeup wipes. “If word ever gets out that _you_ are Christina Koi, they’ll all have to sit back and simmer, because you’ve tricked and embarrassed almost all of them.”

“He has a point,” Aviva chimed in, wiping her eyes, “None of them have any room to point fingers.”

Chris shrugged. “Anyway, this is all beside the point. I was going to try to find info on Lockwood’s next scheme while I was there, that’s why I didn’t call Sam and Cam and got myself in that predicament. I should have said no from the beginning.”

Koki passed him another makeup wipe. “Maybe so, but at the very least, you probably scared him off and he ought to leave you alone now when you’re undercover.”

“That’s gotta’ be a huge relief,” Jimmy said as he fetched towels.

“It is,” Chris admitted after a moment, finally scrubbing off all the mascara, “Now he knows better than to mess with me next time.”

Koki, Aviva, and Jimmy exchanged mischievous grins and Chris gave them a wary look.

“What’s that for?”

“You said next time,” Aviva giggled, “so you’re going to be Christina Koi again. Next time try not to accidentally seduce someone.”

“Shut up.”

**Author's Note:**

> There is art! Check it out here: https://the-comfy-lumberjack.tumblr.com/post/172810904658/christina-koi-arched-an-elegant-eyebrow-at-him


End file.
